Five Random Beauty Tricks You Might Need

Beauty is work, beauty is pain, beauty is worth it. Looking you best can take a lot of effort, but there are little things that every girl should know that make a big difference in how you look and feel. Most of these things are details, but details matter. Details are what make up the big picture, and you want your big picture to make a statement that says "Look at me, I'm hot and you know it."

1. Lotion

     Especially in the winter, dry skin is a problem. I love long hot showers, and they really take a toll on my skin. Buy a good moisturizing lotion and put it on right after you shower. If you like scented lotion, buy an unscented moisturizing lotion and put it on before you apply a scented lotion. If you don’t think lotion makes a big difference, put lotion on one leg and not the other, and I guarantee you will be able to tell the difference. Plus letting your lotion dry gives you an excuse to chill naked for longer, not that you really need an excuse.

2. Exfoliation

     If the three rules of real estate are location, location, location, the three rules of basic skin care are exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate. How do you expect your skin to glow if it’s hidden behind a bunch of nasty dead cells? Exfoliate with a loofah or washcloth or something in the shower with body wash, especially after working out. Exfoliation also increases blood flow and circulation, and can even reduce cellulite. And, exfoliating before shaving gives you a smoother and longer lasting shave.

3. Sleep and Water

     These two are included together because everyone knows them, but sometimes they are easier said than done. Water and sleep both make you more alert, and more refreshed, and just healthier over all. Plus, both of these give you more energy to workout and look hot.

4. Basic make-up

     Now you’re all beautiful special snowflakes, which means you should enhance your natural beauty. Unless I am going out, I hardly ever wear a full face of makeup. However, I always take the time to put on at least mascara and a small amount of eyeliner before I leave the house. This makes you look more awake, and I just feel better knowing I put in at least a small amount of effort. If I’m only running slightly late instead of really late I put on blush too. I always wear lip gloss. Your face is one of your best first impressions, especially in college, so it is important to make sure you look presentable.

5. Eyebrows

     If the eyes are the nipples of the face, the eyebrows are lingerie. If eyebrows are done right, no one will probably notice. But if they are done wrong, people will definitely notice. Wax, pluck, or thread, but for the love of God give your eyebrows some attention. If you have light eyebrows, use a brow liner. Properly shaped and groomed brows can do wonders for your face.

How To: Giving Boys Presents

It's almost Thanksgiving, which means that it's basically Christmas, so it’s time to finalize your shopping list. Your sisters are easy, as are your parents, but there's always one gift that is stressful: the boy. Giving presents in relationships, whether they're official or "it's complicated" is a bit of a challenge. Giving guys presents is actually really complicated. If you don't think so, you're either wrong, or you’re dating a unicorn

Holidays:

1)      Valentine’s Day

      Valentine’s Day isn’t even a real holiday. He should absolutely buy your presents and take you to dinner, but it’s not a real holiday. Luckily for the half of the relationship with tits, this is the easiest holiday to give a gift for: you are the present. Dress yourself up in something nice and give yourself as a present. Maybe get him a card for sentimental reasons, but in reality, you’re all he really wants anyway. If you don’t do these sort of things, refer to the other holidays for how to proceed.

2)      His birthday

      Birthdays are a little bit trickier than the other holidays. As any girl knows, your birthday is the one day a year you can make everything all about you and no one can say anything about it. Now hopefully your guy doesn’t suck and you’re the only diva in the relationship, and you don’t need to actually obsess over him for a full 24 hours. With that understood, a gift for this day should be personal. This should involve a fair amount of thought and planning and be something that he genuinely wants or needs. Tickets to a concert or a sports game, something useful that you made yourself, or a day trip doing a mutually enjoyable activity are all acceptable. Avoid giving him things that his family can get him.

3)      Christmas

      Christmas is basically like his birthday, except easier: you don’t have to make it super personal. This is the time to order something from his favorite sports team, or related to his favorite hobby. It says “I care enough to know what you like, but it’s casual.” This especially applies if Christmas falls close to the beginning of the relationship and it’s your first gift exchange of being together.

Anniversaries:

1 Month

      You want to buy him a present for your first month anniversary? Don’t do it. You look like a psycho crazy clinger. The most you should do is give him a piece of candy that says “Happy one month. Glad we’ve made it this far.” It’s like kindergarten when all you needed was a mudpie on the playground to convey the fact that you’re destined to be together.

2 Months

      Pretty much the same as one month. Except this time a simple text or acknowledgement of the day is sufficient. Sorry two months, you’re really not that special.

3 months

      In my opinion, months 1-6 are completely irrelevant. But I’m also not a touchy feely person so maybe you like to give more presents than I do. I think a small dinner for three months is a good celebration of “I gave you ¼ of a year, aka like .3% of our  lives and I don’t regret it yet.”

4-5 months

      Ignore these. Still don’t matter. And in case you’re thinking about posting these on Facebook, I promise you no one cares.

6 months

      Okay this one actually matters. You’ve been with someone for half a year, and apparently crushes only last four months so you must actually really like each other. (In case anyone says I don’t write about science, BOOM, there it is.) This is like his birthday, but cut in half plus you (oh look there’s math, where did that come from). Your present should be personalized to him, but incorporate you, but it doesn’t really need to be as nice as a birthday present. A good package would be a CD of your favorite songs together, with mementos of things you’ve done with him, and something that you can do together. Plan an event that he likes to do, but do it together. Go to a game for his favorite sports team, or give him a camera to take pictures of you guys with. This should either be an experience that turns into a memory or something that is long lasting (like your love).

One year

      This is a big one, this one matters. Kind of. I guess. This is when you decorate a cooler and put all of his favorite things inside of it. This is when you give him something that appreciates him, because this is when he should give you things that appreciate you. He should give you jewelry, or a spa day, or just something nice. And you will ensure these presents in the future by returning the favor.

If you’re really stuck and your guy already has everything he could possibly want (or his family will just buy him everything) just give him yourself. Set up a scavenger hunt with you as the end result, or simply just put on a bow on your head and let him unwrap you. Guys generally don’t recognize the amount of effort that has to go into things anyway, so sometimes the best present is what he already has: you.

Think About It

I am the first person to admit that I am totally flawed. I could tell you everything I think is wrong with me and everything that should be improved. I assume that because I know my weaknesses and admit them, I am so much better off because then they can’t sneak up on me and no one else can use them against me. This might be just me, hopefully not though because otherwise this post is rather irrelevant.

I watched this video that does a great job of demonstrating how often girls underestimate their physical attractiveness. All of the women described their faces as much less attractive than their actual appearances, but to them, what they described was what they thought. When it comes to self evaluation, your perception is often your reality. In high school I struggled a lot with self confidence and eating issues. So many people would say “you’re so pretty, why can’t you just see that.” My reality was that I thought about how I compared to Victoria’s Secret models and fitspo models. Real life wasn't important to me, because I didn't live in that reality. I didn't look at myself as who I am or appreciate the good things I had going for me.

Sometimes I think about my weaknesses, that I used to attribute as being character flaws, and I assumed that they’re just an uncontrollable part of my life and that they would always hold me down. After watching the above video, I become vividly conscious of the fact that the only person holding me back is myself, and that ends now. For someone who prides myself on being in control, I wasn't in control of my own thoughts.

For example, I always thought I was the type of girl that didn't know how to be single. I haven’t really been single since the beginning of my senior year of high school, so when I found myself single over the summer after what I would define as a “learning experience” of an almost year relationship, I started the typical “I’m going to die alone with 75 cats and a nonexistent heart” post breakup depression. No joke I cried a couple of times about the fact that I would never get married because I suck at relationships. Dramatic? Me? Never. As crazy as it sounds, in my head it was true. I really was going to die alone a crazy cat lady, and as anyone who is as much of a dog person as me knows, that is terrifying. Then, after coming back to school, I realized I was in college and I was totally and completely fine because I’m a twenty year old with blonde hair, a nice ass, and what I like to think is an above average personality with a good sense of humor. I realized that I only “didn't know how to be single” because I was telling myself that I didn't know how to be single. I stopped freaking the hell out, and now I am enjoying myself doing whatever I want to do, which often involves eating cookie dough rather than thinking about boys because the Pillsbury dough boy can be such a better lover than a drunken frat boy. The main point is, I became what I thought I was.

The power of thought is incredible. I mean, girls can freak out so much about the possibility of being pregnant that they trick their hormones into making a pregnancy test positive. Yea, that’s a thing, let that sink in. Everyone has limits and weaknesses, but think about whether you are telling yourself that they exist or if they actually do. Chances are they are a safety net to protect yourself, even if they do more harm than good. Live your life for you, because at the end of the day your happiness is really the only thing you can control. Do what you want, and accept your mistakes, but don’t accept anything less than you deserve, which is obviously the best. Keep your head, heels, and standards high and if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. 

It's Cliché and I want it

So a little while back we had a candlelight ceremony for one of our sisters who got engaged. I had heard of a candlelight, it’s something that happens when a sister gets engaged, married, or pregnant or has other really big news. I had always had kind of a “whateves” attitude towards it but OH MY GAWD I WANT ONE. Was it sweet? Yes. Was it cliché? Absolutely. Yet I am still going to have one.

I mean, if you’re any sort of girl you have a Pinterest, which is basically the perfect tool for creating your ideal everything from your wedding, body, closet, and future. Are you really ever going to take that picture of you and your mom holding a frame around yourselves before your wedding? Probably not. Are you that annoying person that posts every quote about not needing a man? If yes, you suck, and you probably think you need one. All of these things are cliché, and we know that. So why are we still pinning them and thinking about them as ways to live?

The answer is that we are girls, and being obsessive over basically everything is just what we do. I’m only half kidding. As sorority girls, or just girls in general, we are generally taught to be perfect at everything and in complete control of our lives. We are obsessed with perfection because that’s how we are raised, whether it’s by our parents or by the media. You should know how to cook well and eat what you cook, but you should never gain weight. You should work hard to have a nice body, but you shouldn't have to work that hard to be naturally hott. And you should be fully educated and intelligent but know how to be a good housewife someday. As girls, we ARE the cliché of perfection.

The cliché often represents the ideal, which is why it is what we want. We want to be everything all at once. However, the cliché isn't necessarily bad. It can help us to be better, as long as it is taken with balance. Because so much of the ideal is being two things that are the opposite of each other, the only thing to do is to be good at both. Kick ass at school, go to graduate school, and be able to work and raise a family, with the help of a husband who is man enough to help you raise it. Be able to cook because being able to entertain is a crucial skill, and enjoy what you make. Workout, not to be a hott soccer mom, but because your life will be so much better with a healthy body and mind. Cliché things on Pinterest such a cute pictures of your kids or little things to give your husband to remind him you care? Do those. They are dumb but it you like them, they will improve your life. Have a candlelight ceremony to include the people you care about in your life. Live the cliché and don’t regret it, just do use it to improve your life.

P.S. In case you want to see some of my clichés, you can visit my pinterest here 

Feed me and Tell me I'm Pretty

I don't know if it's because I'm an only child, that I when I was five I declared myself a princess, or just the fact that I'm a girl, but I am probably considered by most males to be high maintenance. Having a guy call you high maintenance is almost as bad as being called crazy because it's something that basically no guy wants to deal with. (Spoiler alert: guys are just as much as if not more high maintenance than girls.) I started thinking about this, and hold up. I am a diva when I'm hungry and I like nice things, but I am not high maintenance. I used to ride horses, high maintenance is a moody mare, not a sorority girl who likes shoes and bags and to hear that I'm pretty. 

Reflecting on my last relationship, I realized that I was actually pretty calm. I admit to throwing a bit of a tantrum at this guy now and then but if you met him you would TOTALLY understand. I also have this super adorable habit of turning into a complete bitch when I'm super hungry. I can't help it I have a fast metabolism and a low blood sugar. But overall I'm easy to deal with.

Being judged as high maintenance means a possibility of three things. One, you have standards, and they're more than just basic. You have high standards for yourself and expect everyone else to meet them, especially a guy you're with. Two, you're dating an asshole. Lazy guys don't want to put in the effort to woo you so rather than admit they suck, they'll say that you're high maintenance and ask for too much. Sorry I didn't realize a birthday present was a ridiculous expectation, I'm such a selfish bitch. Three, you may be high maintenance, but that just means you need to find a guy who can provide for all of your needs. 

I don't think any girl is actually truly high maintenance, I just think she's probably with a guy who would rather own a bike than a Ferrari. With a bike, you wash it with the hose and put air in the tires and boom it's all set. A Ferrari? Not so simple. But which would you rather have? Girls that are perceived as high maintenance are viewed as a liability, when in reality they are an investment. A quality woman is worth the time, energy, and extra mile to satisfy. She will exert the same amount of effort for you because she holds herself to the standard of excellence in all aspects of life, and that includes keeping the man in her life happy.

I'm not saying guys should dedicate their entire paycheck to buying us presents (they should save up some money for trips to nice places too) but a little thoughtfulness and extra effort go a long way. I have found that if I have high expectations for how I should be treated, the men worth my time will rise to meet them. An investment in a quality product reflects their taste for quality as well. 

An Ode to The Men of Tinder

     As many of you may know, my latest amusement has been #menoftinder, where I screenshot the captivating gentlemen that I encounter and post them for all of you lovelies to see. It's real classy. I received a couple of questions about what Tinder is... so first, here is a little bit of a breakdown.

In its purest intentions, Tinder is an app designed to connect people in close proximity who may not know each other. You create a profile and anonymously like people who pop up based on their pictures and an optional profile. When you both like each other, you can talk. Kapish? 

In reality, Tinder, at least for girls, has two purposes. First, is to remind you how pretty you are. Nothing says "you picked the right insta filter" like getting a match with almost every guy you swipe right. Second, is for just plain old amusement. This amusement has two forms: pictures and conversations. Some of the pictures that guys post make you want to a) buy pepper spray, b) make really cute babies, or c) post their picture on twitter because it is just too good not to share. If you haven't yet swiped Mr. Yoga you are seriously missing out. However, some equally amusing moments come after the swipe: the pick-up lines. Here are some of my personal favorites I have come across, and the thoughts that go through my mind:

• Do you mind calling Life Alert? Because I've fallen for you and I can't get up! Thanks for reminding me I need to call my Grandma
• Hey fancy face, sup. Did he just call me fancy feast? Oh good he didn't. Hey fuck face, sup.
• So you're gorgeous and let's be honest... what are the odds of us seeing each other naked any time soon? Well aren't you just a charmer, and now that you mention it I was just DYING to see you naked. Never.
• Tinder says we'll make beautiful babies. We should give it the old college try. Let's not and say we didn't. 
• You are tall. This is good. For what, reaching the top shelf of your cabinets?
• Marco. Polo? Oh wait... his name is Marco.
• Your beautiful. RESIST THE URGE TO BE A GRAMMAR NAZI IT'S A COMPLIMENT
• So are you really rich or really smart because you go to __________. Both but you can't buy common sense... or manners apparently.
• You seem like you have a fun personality... I could be wrong though. You seem like a dick... I'm probably not wrong though.
• Thanks for the like, I really appreciate it. I'll expect a thank you note sometime next week?
• Intelligent and gorgeous, that's a dangerous combo. Like prune juice before a road trip. I'm sorry, what?
• Hey there pretty lady. 'Girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours.' Damn now I want to watch "She's the Man."
• What do you want for breakfast tomorrow? I don't plan that far ahead. Wait that's probably sexual. I guess pancakes? I like pancakes.
• Hi. You're pretty let's fuck. That escalated quickly.

Clearly Tinder is not the place to find your Prince Charming, although I would like to note I've been having a great conversation with a guy based on our mutual likes of Chubbies, lacrosse, and Frank's Red Hot. Now there are obviously a lot of hott guys that are just plain nice to look at, but to the men of Tinder who pose with their pugs, terry cloth robes, and strange O faces, I salute you. 

You keep doing you. Own that creeper 'stache, work that warrior pose. Where would Tinder be without your mirror pics, power points, or attempts to lick your wenis? It would just be basic hotties, and we all know that's no fun. No, you are the real men, who amuse me with your shenanigans, and confuse me with your pick up lines. I may not respond to your grammatically incorrect attempts to woo me or swipe you to the right, but you get a mental tip of the hat for catching my attention, something that only cute dogs and trust funds can really do these days. You have turned your cluelessness about female preferences into an art, and a great competition as well. Keep posing inappropriately with statues, wrapping cats around your neck, and violating your household items and I promise to keep looking cute and giving you the inspiration you need to wow me with another attempt at witty repartee. Thank you gentlemen, and carry on.

With love and swipes,

LLL  

P.S. Please continue to pose with your dogs because #dogsoftinder should definitely be a thing.

Beauty balms, Bobby pins, and Body butters

Here is a little introduction to my philosophy about beauty.

I am blonde haired, green eyed, and pale skinned, and I went through one hell of an awkward stage. So naturally, I read every single beauty and makeup column I could find, to try to find some magic cream or makeup that could turn me into the beautiful girls I saw bouncing around in a country music video. I like to think I've exited my awkward stage now, and from it I have a lot of experience with what does and doesn't work. 

First, I like to think I take a very practical approach to beauty. If you are willing to put in the effort to put on an entire face of makeup and do an entire head of hair in the morning, and give up sleep for that, more power to you. But my bed and I are in a great relationship and enjoy each other's company, thank you very much. Beauty does not have to be complicated or time consuming. Find what works for you and what makes you feel good, and stick with it and build on it. A healthy body and confidence will do more for you than anything you could find at Sephora.

When I was about twelve, all of the girls in my seventh grade class were starting to wear mascara and blush and eye shadow, and I wanted it too. But one morning, when I came down the stairs ready to go to school with metallic purple eye shadow on, my dad tried to explain something to me that I now always try to remember. It's called the "pool test," but I call it the shower test because I don't think anyone looks good after basically soaking in chlorine. The pool test focuses around the idea that if you push a girl into a pool, and all of her makeup disappears in the water, will she still be pretty when she gets out of the water. If she is, then you know she is naturally beautiful. If she gets out and looks like a completely different person, there's something wrong. I kid you not, there was a girl in my high school class who wore so much makeup that on the day she didn't wear any, we all thought there was a new student. So step out of the shower and look at yourself. What features (on your face) stand out the most that you like? Identify them, and go from there.

I love the saying "go big or go home." My favorite response is "I never go home." I love more of everything. More shopping, more pink, more froyo, more summer, more more more. This is probably why I own more lip gloss and hair products than any sane person should have. However, when it comes to actually putting on makeup, less is more. Makeup should enhance your beauty, not make your face into a billboard for whatever brand you use. Obviously there are occasions that require more than just being subtle, but for everyday activities, keep it light. Have you ever read the Seventeen beauty section and thought to yourself that no self respecting girl would attach colored feathers to her eyelashes? I still think of that when I read my big girl magazines, and see a style that suggests that a quarter inch of black liner around your eye is totally casual. I mean if that's your look, you do you, but you don't need all of that.

Some girls say that they wear a lot of makeup to impress guys. One, guys think that an eyelash curler is a torture device, and two, they think that Kim Kardashian doesn't wear makeup. Boys are clueless, don't dress for them, dress for you. Also, almost every Cosmo beauty survey I've ever read says that guys prefer the "natural look." Obviously as girls we know a perfect completion is usually not natural, but we'll let them think what they want.

Hair and makeup are tools to express who you are, but they do not define you or your beauty. If you refuse to leave the house without makeup on, take a step back. Do not see makeup or pretty hair as a necessity. Have the confidence to know that with or without makeup, you are beautiful, and regardless of what you look like, you're still an awesome person and a whole package. A zit or a bad hair day is much easier to fix than an ugly personality, and you don't need makeup to be beautiful.

I'm planning on writing one post a day and as of right now, my topics are broken down into eyes, face, lips, hair, and general body beauty. I'm very excited to write these, and if there is anything specific I should cover in either this beauty series or in the future, DM me on twitter or use my ask (ask.fm/LillyandLattes). 

Stay classy dolls!

How to be a Hott Hot mess

Finals week is the one time of year when girls can dress like a total wreck and no other girls can say anything about it. Let’s admit it, finals week sucks. We all know it, and even if you took introduction to hair straightening as a class you are bound to have at least a few exams or papers that naturally, you leave until the last minute. So you are usually running on very little sleep, running late, and driving the struggle bus. This is the perfect mixture that results in the sans-alcohol hot mess. But even when you are scrambling to pull yourself together, it’s not all that hard to still look like you haven’t gone completely batshit crazy.

1)      The "cute casual" look

      Normally getting up to do your hair and makeup and taking the time to look flawless is worth the effort, but not this week. For once getting a good grade is more important than your makeup. However, there is of course the “dress well test well” policy. This mostly applies to the fraternity men who have not gone to class all semester, but looking better will make you feel better, and therefore, you will test better. It’s simple, really. Messy bun. Mascara. Pearls. Then throw on norts, a giant t-shirt (preferably one without your letters), and your favorite perfume and boom, you’re ready. Don’t forget sunglasses to hide the bags under your eyes and Starbucks to help you actually function.

2)      An “I don’t give a flying fuck” attitude

            The most important part of being a hot mess is reminding everyone that you are a hot mess, but zero fucks are given. Casually complain about how little sleep you got, or how many hours you spent procrastinating studying, and then be that super obnoxious bitch that is like “oh my gawd I look like a total freak today.” Yes you barely tried, and yes you still look better than everyone most of the girls in your class. Count your blessings, sweetie.

3)      Other people that make you look normal

      If you are past the point of no return of looking like a shit show, it’s time to find someone that is having an even tougher time than you are. Even if the contrast doesn't make you look more like a functioning member of society, at least you will have someone to share your struggles with. 

Five Productive Ways to Procrastinate

It’s almost time for finals and that means you’ll be sitting in the library for hours on end and you can only mentally rank all of the athletes and fratstars so many times before you realize you need to be productive. Now before you whip out your highlighter and pretend to open the book you bought at the beginning of the semester, there are plenty of ways that you can actually be productive.

1)      Craft

      You can never actually craft too much. Like, it is actually impossible. There is always your future little, and then your grand little, and then your little little little, and then there are your children some day. Technically you’re being proactive, because you would have to do those crafts at a later date anyway. And obviously you need to do your proper Pinterest research before you start so you can make a plan, and then you’ll have at least a few hours of glitter, paint, and mod podge on your hands. Note: baking is edible crafting, and is obvi totes acceptable as long as you don’t eat it.

2)      Workout

      Endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don’t fail their finals. Working out is healthy and even if it’s just the elliptical while reading Cosmo, it gives your brain a much needed break from reality. Besides, there is an entire different group of men in the gym that needs to be ranked since you've already done the sweep of the library. And then you have your post workout shower and then you have to lounge around naked for an hour or so after you do your post shower routine, so you have basically occupied yourself for an entire afternoon.

3)      Clean

     It is actually literally impossible for me to do any sort of schoolwork if your room is messy. I cannot handle it. Maybe it’s due to OCD for needing things to be perfect or the fact that nothing can be found for the other forms of procrastination but it is a well known fact that in order to do anything school related, your room must be spotless. So while you’re tidying up your room you might as well grab another glass of wine and recolor coordinate your closet, organize your heels by height, craft a new bow rack, and reorganize your shack shirt drawer. And then of course you can redecorate and craft some more while dancing around in your underwear singing Katy Perry. When you’re done you will have the perfect study environment that you can work in… tomorrow.

4)      Plan for upcoming social events

      Majoring in Sorority with an MRS minor is hard work. There are outfits to plan, formal dresses to buy, and coolers to make. You need to do all of it now so that you are prepared for the events coming up. Being prepared for social events is making an investment in your future. The Facebook photos you take will be like adding to your resume as a future trophy wife and the memories are totes more important than an English final anyway. You’re just a fluent in English as you are in sarcasm and passive aggression.

5)      Whatever the hell you want

      Sleep. Get your nails done. Go tanning. Get froyo. Day drink. Shop. Shack. Organize your Pinterest boards. Pick out your children’s names. Spend three hours on Lulu. To be honest, as long as you are doing anything else you are still being productive. Zero fucks given.

     

      

Five Completely Rational Ways to Deal with a Break-up

1)      Spend some quality time with Taylor Swift and your body pillow
          Everyone knows that T-Swift is the queen of breakups. She has more ex’s than a Valentine’s day card and has made her fame and fortune from singing about her broken heart. If you’re in the “my life is over and I’m going to die alone with fifty cats” stage then Tay Tay is your go-to gal. If you’ve moved on to the “he’s a loser and I do what I want” stage then it’s time to move on to Miranda Lambert. Either way, listening to songs that let you wallow in your emotions is the way to go, until your sisters get sick of hearing you wail along to “all too well” for the seventeenth time today.

2)      Raging like a maniac
          Of course after spending days in your room wallowing in your own tears and pity, you’ll finally get sick of living in the girl cave and have the intense urge to go dance and get as black out white girl wasted as you can. Of course you’re sisters will accompany you and explain to everyone around you that you “are going through a rough patch” while you’re dancing on a table screaming wagon wheel with a handle of Jack in one hand and an imaginary microphone in the other. The next morning you’ll have a raging headache and a meeting with standards but it was all totes worth it to fix your broken heart.

3)      Going on a slut phase
          They say that the best way to get over one person is to get under another, so take it to heart and get busy. It could be a rando at the bar or some acquaintance at a frat party that is conveniently located within your reach, but some guy is going to be on the right end of the mess that is you in your horny and emotional state. This is when you will overuse the words “I usually don’t do this,” have some below average drunk sex, and then do the stride of pride back to the srat castle early in the morning before you can be recognized by anyone you might know. Drink, shack, repeat.

4)      Retail therapy
          By now you’ve pulled yourself together enough to deal with your breakup in a mature, appropriate manner. You call your parents, sniffling and pretending to be way more upset than you actually are at this point, informing them that your ex’s name is now no longer an acceptable word in your household. As comfort, daddy tells you to go buy yourself something pretty and to take it easy for a little bit, because no father likes to see his little girl heart broken, especially because of some asshole frat boy. So you head off to the mall or the world wide web of internet shopping and you and daddy’s credit card get over him together.

5)      Have a girl’s night/week
          At the end of the day you know that no one has your back like your sisters. They’ve already given Sir Sucks a Lot the proper cold shoulder and glares on campus and covered your ass after all of your drunken adventures and sexcapades. Now you’ll crank up wine Wednesday’s with some cookie dough, Cosmo, and Gossip Girl and forget all about boys (at least for the moment). This is when you remember that boys are stupid and you really only need your sisters anyway. The single life will treat you well with your sisters behind you until a new frat daddy comes into your life that is so much hotter and a much sweeter asshole than your old one anyway.

You live, you learn, and you upgrade.

A Classy Girl’s Guide to Being Successfully Adored

Go ahead, admit it. You’re pretty damn amazing. You’re stunning, a good student, a great sister, a skilled conversationalist, and could organize a philanthropy event or social mixer with your eyes closed. You know you’re the full package and the real deal. So what’s the problem?

Here’s the problem: you’re too incredible. You make guys fall head over heels the first time you meet, parents wish their son’s girlfriends were like you, and other girls want to be you. When you’re in a relationship guys still hit on you, and the moment you’re single again every boy that’s ever had a crush on you cheers. You’re the one asked to formals, date nights, and to be the face of philanthropy events. You’re also the one that makes girls want to be in your sorority, and you’re basically the poster child for an angel.

Now if you've been basically perfect all your life, you know how to deal with having a fan club. But let’s say you didn't come out of your shell until college, or you bloomed in late high school. Being adored is quite exhausting. But that’s the price you must pay my dear, but glory is not permanent. The more you’re loved the easier you are to hate. That’s why you need to take every possible step to protect your crown in the hearts of your admirers.

1. Keep it classy.

                Nothing will get rid of your paparazzi faster than being a dirty hoe. Part of your allure is not only from being easy on the eyes, but also from being someone that his parents would be proud to meet. If you’re getting with every frat guy on the row, you could look like Katherine Webb and have the personality of Jennifer Lawrence but if you spread your legs like Paris Hilton you’re going to go from hott to not faster than the gym fills up the day after the Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

2. Be humble.

                  Yes, you’re incredible. Your family tells you, your sisters tell you, strangers tell you. Yet that does not mean that you get to tell everyone else. If you have to tell people that you’re amazing, you’re probably not. Now yes there is the art of humble bragging but that should be used sparingly for first dates and run-ins with your ex’s new girlfriend. You can think in your head all your positive qualities if you need a boost, but when someone gives you a compliment you better be flattered and appreciative. This also is like bitch repellent. You know that girl that’s so perfect that you want to hate her but you just can’t because she’s so nice? Be her. No one can hate someone that’s perfect and nice.

3. If you've earned it, flaunt it

                  Do you have a killer body? Maybe it’s natural but most likely it took some serious gym hours. Made dean’s list? No doubt due to slaving away in the library and office hours (or adderall). Planned a killer event? You had to be more organized than a NASA launch. Yes being humble is important but when you’ve worked hard, show it. Being a great personality comes naturally, but there is nothing wrong with earning the rest of the things that make you such a knockout. Besides, this is how you earn respect. And the next time someone gets jealous and calls you out for being too perfect, you can smile and politely remind them that while they were watching six episodes of Grey’s Anatomy re-runs, you were running, studying, and conquering the world.

4. Don’t forget the little people

                  Just because you’re on the verge of Greek goddess status doesn’t mean you can suddenly ignore or disregard the people that you either used to be friends with or aren’t friends with but don’t consider to be “on your level.” Listen here princess; you’re gifted, not sacred. Be polite to everyone, even if it’s the weird kid from your stats class or that admirer/border-line-stalker from a lower tier frat. You never know when you might need donations for your philanthropy or a study partner for the hardest test of your life. And if we learned anything from the French revolution, it was that the power of the lower tiers classes is not to be underestimated.

5. Don’t be a tease

                  It’s one thing to be polite and courteous but it’s another thing to give false hope. Because you’re the sassy and alluring belle you are, everyone is going to want to take you out. Hopefully you have high enough standards to be selective about who you are willing to date, but even if you don’t, be respectful of the boys who just couldn’t win over your heart. Be friendly and kind but not flirtatious. This will save you from many awkward confrontations in the future.

6. Remember that not EVERYONE is in love with you

                  Yes most people are charmed by your wit and grace, but there are always those few that will be unamused by your excellence. These are lost causes. Be yourself but tone down the peppiness, as it will only breed more resentment. Chalk up their uninterest to being boring and move on your merry way.

Wearing a crown is like wearing your letters, it’s always there whether you’re wearing it or not.

Pre-Haircut Anxiety

We've all been there, the mix of excitement and anxiety that can only mean one thing: a visit to the salon. As women, we pride ourselves on our hair just as much as we pride ourselves on anything else we do, from our ability to gracefully navigate any conversation, to our impressive baking skills, to the talent of undoing a button down with one hand. Bad hair days are the vain of our existence, and ever since we cut the hair of our first Barbie doll and she ended up looking like Angelica's Cynthia doll, we understand the consequences of a haircut gone wrong. 

If you're lucky, you've had the same stylist for years and she knows exactly what looks good on you, and what doesn't. She talked you out of going brunette that one time, and bless her soul for preventing you from getting that retched bob with bangs style you thought was so cool back in eighth grade. She might have single handedly saved you from social suicide in middle school. A hairdresser is not only someone trusted with maintaining your beauty and image, but she is also someone you trust to listen to all of your qualms and worries, no matter how silly or superficial. Going to the salon is an experience, because you’re not just losing the weight of a few inches of hair, you’re losing the weight of a whole bunch of bad decisions; anything from frat star drama to depression over the three pounds you gained from girl scout cookie season. These are the things that, to be honest, no one else cares about. But, you’re not just paying your hairdresser to do your hair, you’re paying her to listen, and as long as you return the favor of listening, you are going to get genuine advice not even some of your sisters could give you.

Now even if you would trust your stylist with your entire jewelry collection, in the days leading up to an appointment, you are, without a doubt, still fretting. Why do we freak so much? Why are a few inches here and there so important? (And no I'm not talking about men, that can be discussed another time.)

The truth is, as women, we are taught to have everything together, and our hair is one of the greatest outward representations of who we are as strong, capable, individuals. How is anyone supposed to know how well you walk drunk in your heels or how well you can paint a cooler if you don't look like you can? The point is: they can't. We all know from Elle Woods the importance of perfect hair; how else would she have become a super successful lawyer, married her Harvard hottie, and saved Bruiser's mom? Clearly not if her hair was dull knots instead of golden locks. Plus, she never would have gotten rid of Warner, who couldn't handle the power of the blonde so he didn’t deserve her anyway.

So next time someone gives you grief about stressing about your hair, remember that one, they probably don't have nice hair themselves, and two, that you have the right to care about something that might very well determine every many aspects of your future. Beautiful hair is a blessing and a privilege, not a right.

Shoes, Booze, and Big Diamond Rings...

These are a few of my favorite things... And fraternity men. And where do they all come together? A wedding.

Every girl dreams about her big day. We have Pinterest boards with pins galore about everything from dresses and cakes to how to have your dog in your wedding. Obviously (or hopefully) must of us college gals are not at the stage of marching down the aisle. But a girl can dream, right? Yes, yes she can. And I often think about the one thing possibly more important than the wedding: the proposal.

Now, I'm all for being high class and demanding but honestly if the right guy comes along and we're crazily in love and happy I would be fine with a ring from a vending machine over a Yurman (that may be a stretch but you catch my drift). My point is, I want a real proposal. And in case the man I get engaged to is romantically challenged (which he won't be because I'm getting engaged to him) here are some requirements guidelines:

1. You must ask my father's approval. We are doing this the old fashion way, he knows what's best for me and he always will. And if you're the best you will get the blessing.
2. DO NOT propose at a sporting event, concert, etc. aka anything that would mean you and me on a jumbotron. If you do this, I WILL say no.
3. Find someone to stealthily take a picture of my face when you pop the question. Make it a Pinterest worthy moment.
4. Get down on one knee. This does not need an explanation.

Other than that you are free to do what you please. I promise I will not be some tacky bitch who puts a zillion pictures of my new ring on Instagram or posts gushy statuses about the engagement as long as you promise to make when we get engaged the second most romantic moment of our lives, right behind when we say "I do."