Five Productive Ways to Procrastinate

It’s almost time for finals and that means you’ll be sitting in the library for hours on end and you can only mentally rank all of the athletes and fratstars so many times before you realize you need to be productive. Now before you whip out your highlighter and pretend to open the book you bought at the beginning of the semester, there are plenty of ways that you can actually be productive.

1)      Craft

      You can never actually craft too much. Like, it is actually impossible. There is always your future little, and then your grand little, and then your little little little, and then there are your children some day. Technically you’re being proactive, because you would have to do those crafts at a later date anyway. And obviously you need to do your proper Pinterest research before you start so you can make a plan, and then you’ll have at least a few hours of glitter, paint, and mod podge on your hands. Note: baking is edible crafting, and is obvi totes acceptable as long as you don’t eat it.

2)      Workout

      Endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don’t fail their finals. Working out is healthy and even if it’s just the elliptical while reading Cosmo, it gives your brain a much needed break from reality. Besides, there is an entire different group of men in the gym that needs to be ranked since you've already done the sweep of the library. And then you have your post workout shower and then you have to lounge around naked for an hour or so after you do your post shower routine, so you have basically occupied yourself for an entire afternoon.

3)      Clean

     It is actually literally impossible for me to do any sort of schoolwork if your room is messy. I cannot handle it. Maybe it’s due to OCD for needing things to be perfect or the fact that nothing can be found for the other forms of procrastination but it is a well known fact that in order to do anything school related, your room must be spotless. So while you’re tidying up your room you might as well grab another glass of wine and recolor coordinate your closet, organize your heels by height, craft a new bow rack, and reorganize your shack shirt drawer. And then of course you can redecorate and craft some more while dancing around in your underwear singing Katy Perry. When you’re done you will have the perfect study environment that you can work in… tomorrow.

4)      Plan for upcoming social events

      Majoring in Sorority with an MRS minor is hard work. There are outfits to plan, formal dresses to buy, and coolers to make. You need to do all of it now so that you are prepared for the events coming up. Being prepared for social events is making an investment in your future. The Facebook photos you take will be like adding to your resume as a future trophy wife and the memories are totes more important than an English final anyway. You’re just a fluent in English as you are in sarcasm and passive aggression.

5)      Whatever the hell you want

      Sleep. Get your nails done. Go tanning. Get froyo. Day drink. Shop. Shack. Organize your Pinterest boards. Pick out your children’s names. Spend three hours on Lulu. To be honest, as long as you are doing anything else you are still being productive. Zero fucks given.