How To: Giving Boys Presents

It's almost Thanksgiving, which means that it's basically Christmas, so it’s time to finalize your shopping list. Your sisters are easy, as are your parents, but there's always one gift that is stressful: the boy. Giving presents in relationships, whether they're official or "it's complicated" is a bit of a challenge. Giving guys presents is actually really complicated. If you don't think so, you're either wrong, or you’re dating a unicorn

Holidays:

1)      Valentine’s Day

      Valentine’s Day isn’t even a real holiday. He should absolutely buy your presents and take you to dinner, but it’s not a real holiday. Luckily for the half of the relationship with tits, this is the easiest holiday to give a gift for: you are the present. Dress yourself up in something nice and give yourself as a present. Maybe get him a card for sentimental reasons, but in reality, you’re all he really wants anyway. If you don’t do these sort of things, refer to the other holidays for how to proceed.

2)      His birthday

      Birthdays are a little bit trickier than the other holidays. As any girl knows, your birthday is the one day a year you can make everything all about you and no one can say anything about it. Now hopefully your guy doesn’t suck and you’re the only diva in the relationship, and you don’t need to actually obsess over him for a full 24 hours. With that understood, a gift for this day should be personal. This should involve a fair amount of thought and planning and be something that he genuinely wants or needs. Tickets to a concert or a sports game, something useful that you made yourself, or a day trip doing a mutually enjoyable activity are all acceptable. Avoid giving him things that his family can get him.

3)      Christmas

      Christmas is basically like his birthday, except easier: you don’t have to make it super personal. This is the time to order something from his favorite sports team, or related to his favorite hobby. It says “I care enough to know what you like, but it’s casual.” This especially applies if Christmas falls close to the beginning of the relationship and it’s your first gift exchange of being together.

Anniversaries:

1 Month

      You want to buy him a present for your first month anniversary? Don’t do it. You look like a psycho crazy clinger. The most you should do is give him a piece of candy that says “Happy one month. Glad we’ve made it this far.” It’s like kindergarten when all you needed was a mudpie on the playground to convey the fact that you’re destined to be together.

2 Months

      Pretty much the same as one month. Except this time a simple text or acknowledgement of the day is sufficient. Sorry two months, you’re really not that special.

3 months

      In my opinion, months 1-6 are completely irrelevant. But I’m also not a touchy feely person so maybe you like to give more presents than I do. I think a small dinner for three months is a good celebration of “I gave you ¼ of a year, aka like .3% of our  lives and I don’t regret it yet.”

4-5 months

      Ignore these. Still don’t matter. And in case you’re thinking about posting these on Facebook, I promise you no one cares.

6 months

      Okay this one actually matters. You’ve been with someone for half a year, and apparently crushes only last four months so you must actually really like each other. (In case anyone says I don’t write about science, BOOM, there it is.) This is like his birthday, but cut in half plus you (oh look there’s math, where did that come from). Your present should be personalized to him, but incorporate you, but it doesn’t really need to be as nice as a birthday present. A good package would be a CD of your favorite songs together, with mementos of things you’ve done with him, and something that you can do together. Plan an event that he likes to do, but do it together. Go to a game for his favorite sports team, or give him a camera to take pictures of you guys with. This should either be an experience that turns into a memory or something that is long lasting (like your love).

One year

      This is a big one, this one matters. Kind of. I guess. This is when you decorate a cooler and put all of his favorite things inside of it. This is when you give him something that appreciates him, because this is when he should give you things that appreciate you. He should give you jewelry, or a spa day, or just something nice. And you will ensure these presents in the future by returning the favor.

If you’re really stuck and your guy already has everything he could possibly want (or his family will just buy him everything) just give him yourself. Set up a scavenger hunt with you as the end result, or simply just put on a bow on your head and let him unwrap you. Guys generally don’t recognize the amount of effort that has to go into things anyway, so sometimes the best present is what he already has: you.

Think About It

I am the first person to admit that I am totally flawed. I could tell you everything I think is wrong with me and everything that should be improved. I assume that because I know my weaknesses and admit them, I am so much better off because then they can’t sneak up on me and no one else can use them against me. This might be just me, hopefully not though because otherwise this post is rather irrelevant.

I watched this video that does a great job of demonstrating how often girls underestimate their physical attractiveness. All of the women described their faces as much less attractive than their actual appearances, but to them, what they described was what they thought. When it comes to self evaluation, your perception is often your reality. In high school I struggled a lot with self confidence and eating issues. So many people would say “you’re so pretty, why can’t you just see that.” My reality was that I thought about how I compared to Victoria’s Secret models and fitspo models. Real life wasn't important to me, because I didn't live in that reality. I didn't look at myself as who I am or appreciate the good things I had going for me.

Sometimes I think about my weaknesses, that I used to attribute as being character flaws, and I assumed that they’re just an uncontrollable part of my life and that they would always hold me down. After watching the above video, I become vividly conscious of the fact that the only person holding me back is myself, and that ends now. For someone who prides myself on being in control, I wasn't in control of my own thoughts.

For example, I always thought I was the type of girl that didn't know how to be single. I haven’t really been single since the beginning of my senior year of high school, so when I found myself single over the summer after what I would define as a “learning experience” of an almost year relationship, I started the typical “I’m going to die alone with 75 cats and a nonexistent heart” post breakup depression. No joke I cried a couple of times about the fact that I would never get married because I suck at relationships. Dramatic? Me? Never. As crazy as it sounds, in my head it was true. I really was going to die alone a crazy cat lady, and as anyone who is as much of a dog person as me knows, that is terrifying. Then, after coming back to school, I realized I was in college and I was totally and completely fine because I’m a twenty year old with blonde hair, a nice ass, and what I like to think is an above average personality with a good sense of humor. I realized that I only “didn't know how to be single” because I was telling myself that I didn't know how to be single. I stopped freaking the hell out, and now I am enjoying myself doing whatever I want to do, which often involves eating cookie dough rather than thinking about boys because the Pillsbury dough boy can be such a better lover than a drunken frat boy. The main point is, I became what I thought I was.

The power of thought is incredible. I mean, girls can freak out so much about the possibility of being pregnant that they trick their hormones into making a pregnancy test positive. Yea, that’s a thing, let that sink in. Everyone has limits and weaknesses, but think about whether you are telling yourself that they exist or if they actually do. Chances are they are a safety net to protect yourself, even if they do more harm than good. Live your life for you, because at the end of the day your happiness is really the only thing you can control. Do what you want, and accept your mistakes, but don’t accept anything less than you deserve, which is obviously the best. Keep your head, heels, and standards high and if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. 

It's Cliché and I want it

So a little while back we had a candlelight ceremony for one of our sisters who got engaged. I had heard of a candlelight, it’s something that happens when a sister gets engaged, married, or pregnant or has other really big news. I had always had kind of a “whateves” attitude towards it but OH MY GAWD I WANT ONE. Was it sweet? Yes. Was it cliché? Absolutely. Yet I am still going to have one.

I mean, if you’re any sort of girl you have a Pinterest, which is basically the perfect tool for creating your ideal everything from your wedding, body, closet, and future. Are you really ever going to take that picture of you and your mom holding a frame around yourselves before your wedding? Probably not. Are you that annoying person that posts every quote about not needing a man? If yes, you suck, and you probably think you need one. All of these things are cliché, and we know that. So why are we still pinning them and thinking about them as ways to live?

The answer is that we are girls, and being obsessive over basically everything is just what we do. I’m only half kidding. As sorority girls, or just girls in general, we are generally taught to be perfect at everything and in complete control of our lives. We are obsessed with perfection because that’s how we are raised, whether it’s by our parents or by the media. You should know how to cook well and eat what you cook, but you should never gain weight. You should work hard to have a nice body, but you shouldn't have to work that hard to be naturally hott. And you should be fully educated and intelligent but know how to be a good housewife someday. As girls, we ARE the cliché of perfection.

The cliché often represents the ideal, which is why it is what we want. We want to be everything all at once. However, the cliché isn't necessarily bad. It can help us to be better, as long as it is taken with balance. Because so much of the ideal is being two things that are the opposite of each other, the only thing to do is to be good at both. Kick ass at school, go to graduate school, and be able to work and raise a family, with the help of a husband who is man enough to help you raise it. Be able to cook because being able to entertain is a crucial skill, and enjoy what you make. Workout, not to be a hott soccer mom, but because your life will be so much better with a healthy body and mind. Cliché things on Pinterest such a cute pictures of your kids or little things to give your husband to remind him you care? Do those. They are dumb but it you like them, they will improve your life. Have a candlelight ceremony to include the people you care about in your life. Live the cliché and don’t regret it, just do use it to improve your life.

P.S. In case you want to see some of my clichés, you can visit my pinterest here