In the Defense of Bitches

          

Watch any movie involving Greek life and there will be bitchy sorority girls. Walk into a Greek competition at schools across the country and you will witness bitchy sorority girls. Yes, sorority girls can be bitches, and to the outside world not blessed enough to be in a house, we all probably look like prissy brats backstabbing each other and always gunning to get ahead. This is often blamed on being spoiled (or just being shitty people), but look at your own sisters and you know that’s not the way it is.

Alpha bitches run shit, and no one knows being an alpha like Greek women. Being a bitch is underrated, because bitches get shit done. A part of this can be attributed that a kick ass, listen to me attitude will make people follow your directions, but another part is that if you are a bitch it’s because you have a strong personality. Sorority girls are the girls who in high school were involved in everything, from sports to clubs to volunteering, and still maintained kick ass grades and probably great hair. At some point along the way, confidence developed. You cannot get into any decent house without confidence. Therefore, sororities are full of alpha bitches because they are the types of girls who get shit done. Getting good grades takes a lot of commitment and effort, or the ability to manipulate influence people around you enough to get what you want. Balancing sports, clubs, and school takes a hell of a lot of drive. You don’t get anywhere by sitting on your ass and doing nothing.

Sorority girls aren't alpha females because they’re in sororities, they’re in sororities because they’re alpha betches. Sororities want to be the best they can be, so they recruit girls that are driven, beautiful, smart, involved, and well rounded. You mix together a bunch of type A personalities and you’re going to get a house willing to work, and fight, to be the best. 

Having the confidence to get what you want can make you a bitch. Being a bitch is not about making everyone hate you because you’re completely intolerable, it’s about having confidence. There is a fine balance between standing up for yourself, and becoming a bully. Walk that line carefully, or just stay away from it, because influence and getting what you want isn't about strong arming people, it’s about making them want to do it for you. People want to help people that they like, so be a person worth liking. Not for the sake of controlling people or getting things, but because you will be so much happier. Take charge of your life, and be a bitch, but have a purpose. Don’t just be a cranky, salty, whiner that snaps at people all the time. That will get you nowhere fast. But giving an honest opinion and giving people a reason to respect you will get you places, and will help you go far.

Tips for Sorority Rush: Part 1

So I have actually had the tiring pleasure of going through sorority recruitment twice. I was too much of an awkward shit the first time through to get a bid so I shaped up and went through again. Jokes, I went through rush at one school but didn’t accept a bid because I knew I was transferring to my current school. To be totally honest, I know very little about recruitment in the South. It seems wayyyy more intense and I can’t wait until my daughters get to go through it in a place where you’re not running from house to house in the cold. However, I have learned some of the things about rush your Rho Gamma won’t tell you. This set of posts will be broken up into a few segments otherwise you’d be reading a novel. They will be things you need, what to wear, conversation tips, and choosing a house. If you have any other topics that you think won’t be covered in those sections or just want to ask specific questions go to my ask (ask.fm/LillyandLattes)

Part 1: Things you need

            Every school has (or should have) a Panhellenic website that explains what to wear and what the rounds are and will give you a little bit of an overview about things you should know. This is a good place to start, and hopefully if you’re going to go through rush you’ve checked it out. I’ll discuss outfits later.

Some things to pack that you may not know you need:

-          A waterproof bag

-          Anti static dryer sheets

-          An umbrella

-          Dr Scholls for your heels

-          Lip gloss (duh)

-          Mints

-          Snacks

-          Lint roller

-          A brush

-          Small mirror

-          Hand warmers

-          A coat with a hood

-          Hand sanitizer

-          Cough drops

-          Bottle of water

While you are waiting to go into a house you should have a few minutes to get yourself under control. Run the dryer sheet over your hair and your clothes to get rid of static so you’re not shocking people and your hair isn’t sticking straight out in every direction. Before you go in the house, run the lint roller over you if you need to, and pop a mint. Try to get small mints that dissolve quickly like altoids or something so you don’t have anything in your mouth when you’re talking to the sisters. Put on a swipe of lipgloss and check yourself in your mirror. If you need to, brush your hair. When your Rho Gamma(s) give you like a two minute warning take your umbrella and put it upside down on the ground. Then put your bag and the bags of anyone else that you’ve made friends with in line in the umbrella. This way your stuff isn’t on the ground. If you change out of boots put them upside down in the umbrella so they don’t fill with snow or rain. If someone else brought an umbrella put that umbrella open on top of your things if it’s snowing or raining. Before you go in, have your coat at least unzipped, and if it’s not too terribly cold try to take it off before you go in. This will make it a lot easier for the sisters to take your coat and you won’t be frazzled trying to take it off in the door.

When you get your schedule in the morning, figure out where you’re going and make sure you know the location of each house. This will make it much easier for you when you’re trying to get from house to house. Find girls standing in line with you that are going to the same house next, and walk together. As your walking from house to house or on a lunch, break pop a cough drop. Talking all day can really take a toll on your voice (coming from someone that lost their voice during rush) so cough drops will help your throat and the vitamin C will help keep your immune system strong during the busy week. Drink water in between houses too, getting dehydrated will make you tired, and staying hydrated will help you look your best. If it’s cold, use hand warmers to prevent your fingers from freezing while you walk or wait.

Recruitment can be stressful and it can be tiring, but it is completely worth it. Making sure that you’re taking care of yourself makes it easier to show the sisters in each house your great personality, and being prepared means you’re not worried about your hair being all over the place or you having something in your teeth. Being confident is the most important thing, and even if you’re not, fake it until you make it. Be yourself but don’t be scared. All of the sisters you are talking to had to go through recruitment too so they get what you’re going through. You will be fine!

Love,

LLL

P.S. Remember, if you want to ask specific questions or see specific topics in these posts go to my ask! I'd love to help!

We are the girls...

“We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving… We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins… We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We never want to be as passive-aggressive as our mothers, never want to marry men as uninspired as our fathers… We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything.”

I just thought this was interesting and wanted to share it with everyone in case y'all can relate. 

LLL

Five Random Beauty Tricks You Might Need

Beauty is work, beauty is pain, beauty is worth it. Looking you best can take a lot of effort, but there are little things that every girl should know that make a big difference in how you look and feel. Most of these things are details, but details matter. Details are what make up the big picture, and you want your big picture to make a statement that says "Look at me, I'm hot and you know it."

1. Lotion

     Especially in the winter, dry skin is a problem. I love long hot showers, and they really take a toll on my skin. Buy a good moisturizing lotion and put it on right after you shower. If you like scented lotion, buy an unscented moisturizing lotion and put it on before you apply a scented lotion. If you don’t think lotion makes a big difference, put lotion on one leg and not the other, and I guarantee you will be able to tell the difference. Plus letting your lotion dry gives you an excuse to chill naked for longer, not that you really need an excuse.

2. Exfoliation

     If the three rules of real estate are location, location, location, the three rules of basic skin care are exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate. How do you expect your skin to glow if it’s hidden behind a bunch of nasty dead cells? Exfoliate with a loofah or washcloth or something in the shower with body wash, especially after working out. Exfoliation also increases blood flow and circulation, and can even reduce cellulite. And, exfoliating before shaving gives you a smoother and longer lasting shave.

3. Sleep and Water

     These two are included together because everyone knows them, but sometimes they are easier said than done. Water and sleep both make you more alert, and more refreshed, and just healthier over all. Plus, both of these give you more energy to workout and look hot.

4. Basic make-up

     Now you’re all beautiful special snowflakes, which means you should enhance your natural beauty. Unless I am going out, I hardly ever wear a full face of makeup. However, I always take the time to put on at least mascara and a small amount of eyeliner before I leave the house. This makes you look more awake, and I just feel better knowing I put in at least a small amount of effort. If I’m only running slightly late instead of really late I put on blush too. I always wear lip gloss. Your face is one of your best first impressions, especially in college, so it is important to make sure you look presentable.

5. Eyebrows

     If the eyes are the nipples of the face, the eyebrows are lingerie. If eyebrows are done right, no one will probably notice. But if they are done wrong, people will definitely notice. Wax, pluck, or thread, but for the love of God give your eyebrows some attention. If you have light eyebrows, use a brow liner. Properly shaped and groomed brows can do wonders for your face.

How To: Giving Boys Presents

It's almost Thanksgiving, which means that it's basically Christmas, so it’s time to finalize your shopping list. Your sisters are easy, as are your parents, but there's always one gift that is stressful: the boy. Giving presents in relationships, whether they're official or "it's complicated" is a bit of a challenge. Giving guys presents is actually really complicated. If you don't think so, you're either wrong, or you’re dating a unicorn

Holidays:

1)      Valentine’s Day

      Valentine’s Day isn’t even a real holiday. He should absolutely buy your presents and take you to dinner, but it’s not a real holiday. Luckily for the half of the relationship with tits, this is the easiest holiday to give a gift for: you are the present. Dress yourself up in something nice and give yourself as a present. Maybe get him a card for sentimental reasons, but in reality, you’re all he really wants anyway. If you don’t do these sort of things, refer to the other holidays for how to proceed.

2)      His birthday

      Birthdays are a little bit trickier than the other holidays. As any girl knows, your birthday is the one day a year you can make everything all about you and no one can say anything about it. Now hopefully your guy doesn’t suck and you’re the only diva in the relationship, and you don’t need to actually obsess over him for a full 24 hours. With that understood, a gift for this day should be personal. This should involve a fair amount of thought and planning and be something that he genuinely wants or needs. Tickets to a concert or a sports game, something useful that you made yourself, or a day trip doing a mutually enjoyable activity are all acceptable. Avoid giving him things that his family can get him.

3)      Christmas

      Christmas is basically like his birthday, except easier: you don’t have to make it super personal. This is the time to order something from his favorite sports team, or related to his favorite hobby. It says “I care enough to know what you like, but it’s casual.” This especially applies if Christmas falls close to the beginning of the relationship and it’s your first gift exchange of being together.

Anniversaries:

1 Month

      You want to buy him a present for your first month anniversary? Don’t do it. You look like a psycho crazy clinger. The most you should do is give him a piece of candy that says “Happy one month. Glad we’ve made it this far.” It’s like kindergarten when all you needed was a mudpie on the playground to convey the fact that you’re destined to be together.

2 Months

      Pretty much the same as one month. Except this time a simple text or acknowledgement of the day is sufficient. Sorry two months, you’re really not that special.

3 months

      In my opinion, months 1-6 are completely irrelevant. But I’m also not a touchy feely person so maybe you like to give more presents than I do. I think a small dinner for three months is a good celebration of “I gave you ¼ of a year, aka like .3% of our  lives and I don’t regret it yet.”

4-5 months

      Ignore these. Still don’t matter. And in case you’re thinking about posting these on Facebook, I promise you no one cares.

6 months

      Okay this one actually matters. You’ve been with someone for half a year, and apparently crushes only last four months so you must actually really like each other. (In case anyone says I don’t write about science, BOOM, there it is.) This is like his birthday, but cut in half plus you (oh look there’s math, where did that come from). Your present should be personalized to him, but incorporate you, but it doesn’t really need to be as nice as a birthday present. A good package would be a CD of your favorite songs together, with mementos of things you’ve done with him, and something that you can do together. Plan an event that he likes to do, but do it together. Go to a game for his favorite sports team, or give him a camera to take pictures of you guys with. This should either be an experience that turns into a memory or something that is long lasting (like your love).

One year

      This is a big one, this one matters. Kind of. I guess. This is when you decorate a cooler and put all of his favorite things inside of it. This is when you give him something that appreciates him, because this is when he should give you things that appreciate you. He should give you jewelry, or a spa day, or just something nice. And you will ensure these presents in the future by returning the favor.

If you’re really stuck and your guy already has everything he could possibly want (or his family will just buy him everything) just give him yourself. Set up a scavenger hunt with you as the end result, or simply just put on a bow on your head and let him unwrap you. Guys generally don’t recognize the amount of effort that has to go into things anyway, so sometimes the best present is what he already has: you.

Think About It

I am the first person to admit that I am totally flawed. I could tell you everything I think is wrong with me and everything that should be improved. I assume that because I know my weaknesses and admit them, I am so much better off because then they can’t sneak up on me and no one else can use them against me. This might be just me, hopefully not though because otherwise this post is rather irrelevant.

I watched this video that does a great job of demonstrating how often girls underestimate their physical attractiveness. All of the women described their faces as much less attractive than their actual appearances, but to them, what they described was what they thought. When it comes to self evaluation, your perception is often your reality. In high school I struggled a lot with self confidence and eating issues. So many people would say “you’re so pretty, why can’t you just see that.” My reality was that I thought about how I compared to Victoria’s Secret models and fitspo models. Real life wasn't important to me, because I didn't live in that reality. I didn't look at myself as who I am or appreciate the good things I had going for me.

Sometimes I think about my weaknesses, that I used to attribute as being character flaws, and I assumed that they’re just an uncontrollable part of my life and that they would always hold me down. After watching the above video, I become vividly conscious of the fact that the only person holding me back is myself, and that ends now. For someone who prides myself on being in control, I wasn't in control of my own thoughts.

For example, I always thought I was the type of girl that didn't know how to be single. I haven’t really been single since the beginning of my senior year of high school, so when I found myself single over the summer after what I would define as a “learning experience” of an almost year relationship, I started the typical “I’m going to die alone with 75 cats and a nonexistent heart” post breakup depression. No joke I cried a couple of times about the fact that I would never get married because I suck at relationships. Dramatic? Me? Never. As crazy as it sounds, in my head it was true. I really was going to die alone a crazy cat lady, and as anyone who is as much of a dog person as me knows, that is terrifying. Then, after coming back to school, I realized I was in college and I was totally and completely fine because I’m a twenty year old with blonde hair, a nice ass, and what I like to think is an above average personality with a good sense of humor. I realized that I only “didn't know how to be single” because I was telling myself that I didn't know how to be single. I stopped freaking the hell out, and now I am enjoying myself doing whatever I want to do, which often involves eating cookie dough rather than thinking about boys because the Pillsbury dough boy can be such a better lover than a drunken frat boy. The main point is, I became what I thought I was.

The power of thought is incredible. I mean, girls can freak out so much about the possibility of being pregnant that they trick their hormones into making a pregnancy test positive. Yea, that’s a thing, let that sink in. Everyone has limits and weaknesses, but think about whether you are telling yourself that they exist or if they actually do. Chances are they are a safety net to protect yourself, even if they do more harm than good. Live your life for you, because at the end of the day your happiness is really the only thing you can control. Do what you want, and accept your mistakes, but don’t accept anything less than you deserve, which is obviously the best. Keep your head, heels, and standards high and if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. 

It's Cliché and I want it

So a little while back we had a candlelight ceremony for one of our sisters who got engaged. I had heard of a candlelight, it’s something that happens when a sister gets engaged, married, or pregnant or has other really big news. I had always had kind of a “whateves” attitude towards it but OH MY GAWD I WANT ONE. Was it sweet? Yes. Was it cliché? Absolutely. Yet I am still going to have one.

I mean, if you’re any sort of girl you have a Pinterest, which is basically the perfect tool for creating your ideal everything from your wedding, body, closet, and future. Are you really ever going to take that picture of you and your mom holding a frame around yourselves before your wedding? Probably not. Are you that annoying person that posts every quote about not needing a man? If yes, you suck, and you probably think you need one. All of these things are cliché, and we know that. So why are we still pinning them and thinking about them as ways to live?

The answer is that we are girls, and being obsessive over basically everything is just what we do. I’m only half kidding. As sorority girls, or just girls in general, we are generally taught to be perfect at everything and in complete control of our lives. We are obsessed with perfection because that’s how we are raised, whether it’s by our parents or by the media. You should know how to cook well and eat what you cook, but you should never gain weight. You should work hard to have a nice body, but you shouldn't have to work that hard to be naturally hott. And you should be fully educated and intelligent but know how to be a good housewife someday. As girls, we ARE the cliché of perfection.

The cliché often represents the ideal, which is why it is what we want. We want to be everything all at once. However, the cliché isn't necessarily bad. It can help us to be better, as long as it is taken with balance. Because so much of the ideal is being two things that are the opposite of each other, the only thing to do is to be good at both. Kick ass at school, go to graduate school, and be able to work and raise a family, with the help of a husband who is man enough to help you raise it. Be able to cook because being able to entertain is a crucial skill, and enjoy what you make. Workout, not to be a hott soccer mom, but because your life will be so much better with a healthy body and mind. Cliché things on Pinterest such a cute pictures of your kids or little things to give your husband to remind him you care? Do those. They are dumb but it you like them, they will improve your life. Have a candlelight ceremony to include the people you care about in your life. Live the cliché and don’t regret it, just do use it to improve your life.

P.S. In case you want to see some of my clichés, you can visit my pinterest here